"I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good, either. White hot and passionate is the only thing to be."
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and it’s nice to see it summed-up by a good writer. I feel like I haven’t been myself for about two years now, and that’s because I slowly, slowly let myself (made myself?) stop caring about things as much as I used to. But I’d like to think that, and so many people I’ve known have told me, that that’s what defines me. Being very passionate about everything I do, pouring my heart into everything, is what Carmen does. That’s how I’ve gotten to where I am, in so many ways. But it makes it so, so hard when things don’t work. I don’t think I’m strong enough as a person to deal with pouring my everything into something that becomes nothing. Because of that I’m giving-in, I’m losing, and it makes me hate the person that I’m turning into.